This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
