What tipped you off? The sombrero?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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