she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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