he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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