sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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