so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
