What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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