Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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