She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
worst night to have a conscience
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
