Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
