I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
How external is "for external use only"?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
