In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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