The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
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