Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
