That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Terrible idea I love it
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
