He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
