I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
