32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The struggles of a small town man whore
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
