It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
