hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
