He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
