My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
