You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
