My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
