Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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