shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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