she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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