Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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