The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
