On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
