hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
