She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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