Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
