I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
