i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
