I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
handjob tips. give me some.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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