she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
The air taste purple.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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