am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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