the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
