Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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