I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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