Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
