i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
