All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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