So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
