I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
