sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize