i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
