You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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