This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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